Realising he wasn’t the “prince charming” I had thought he was
CN: abuse (emotional, physical, sexual), rape, victim blaming
Just over a year ago I was at my lowest. After being in a toxic relationship with someone for over a year, my life went slamming downhill. This guy - at first he was my world, he treated me right, spoiled me and had a beautiful family that loved me more than my own did at the time.
I thought he was right. Little did I know within a few months of dating the abuse started. It started with blackmail, being over protective, isolating me from my friends. I didn’t see this as bad at the time, but things just got worse. It eventually turned to verbal and emotional abuse: putting me down, calling me names, taking my phone and reading texts etc. I started realising he wasn’t the “prince charming” I had thought he was. Being the nice and quiet and shy person I am, I ignored it. Brushed it off. He eventually cheated on me with a younger girl which I was oblivious to at the time. Friends tried to remove me from the relationship but I was too fixed on the idea of a “man” in my life. I was 18, head over heels for an abusive lover. In reality, I was too scared to leave due to his constant threats.
It was about 8 months into the relationship when my life was flipped upside down. We were at a party, he wouldn’t let me drink but I went against his word and had a few. I was tipsy by this point. He started yelling at me. He pulled me to an empty bedroom and took a part of me that I will never get back.
I was left scared. I was raped by someone who I thought I could trust. People told me you should of saw it coming. But the mask of “loving” someone blinded me from the reality. People told me ‘if you hadn’t drank that night maybe you would have been able to stop him’.
The thing is fear. Fear ruled my life the whole time I was with him.
I am not alone - one in five women have been sexually assaulted.
This is an issue too big to ignore. I’ve lost a lot of trust which I’m working hard to regain.
Don’t let any guy run your life. You are strong. You are worth so much love. Please don’t go in silence, and please speak up! Know your worth.
Illustration: Joey Yu @itsjoeyyu